A Perfectionist Endeavor
Posted in General, Personal Hygiene on Sep 13th, 2008
Last month I went to the doctor’s office for a diaphragm “fitting”.
“Why do you want a diaphragm if you’re on the pill?” they asked. “Not many people use those anymore.”
“My boyfriend is crazy,” I said. “He doesn’t believe in the pill, and I don’t like condoms.”
It was not their place to [...]
Posted in Family, General, Personal Hygiene, Spirituality on Aug 20th, 2008
I have recently returned from the most PSYCHOTIC family vacation ever.
First the four of us (father, wife, baby, me) board a plane to Arizona to visit my little sister Chloe at her boarding school for wayward girls, although her therapist warns us she has regressed tremendously and it will not be fun or even [...]
Posted in General, Outdoors, Personal Hygiene on Jul 24th, 2008
On my recent holiday in Sweden, we had no running water. My boyfriend’s family had forgotten to have the plumber connect the water in their summer house after the winter, and when we arrived the only plumber on the island was away on vacation.
My boyfriend and I were alone in a house [...]
Posted in Community, General, Personal Hygiene on Jun 6th, 2008
It is no easy matter to maintain our bipedal stance on a muddy hill so steep it might be mistaken for a wall. Hundreds of feet have worn away the grass, leaving a slick, treacherous surface. We slip and fall to our hands and knees, clinging to tree roots and other people’s legs as we [...]
Posted in Community, General, Personal Hygiene on May 21st, 2008
My housemate Tjen Ket (actually I have no idea how to spell his name) has undergone a transformation in recent days from glumness to chattiness. I am sorry to admit I preferred the morose state. When he gets excited, his Singaporean English hardens into a series of clattering syllables. Although I find him [...]
Posted in Community, General, Personal Hygiene on May 19th, 2008
In my most recent play, an 18th-century comedy, one of the older actors played a rakish lord who takes snuff. He showed me his snuff, which came with a tobacco warning on the tin. It was a brown powder that looked like cinnamon but smelled disgusting.
“What does it do?” I asked.
“Personally, I don’t feel any [...]
Posted in Community, General, Personal Hygiene on May 15th, 2008
My housemate Jeremy used to steal my butter because he was too cheap and lazy to buy his own. Then someone told me about how the Israeli Defense Forces would rake the sand in the desert outside the security fence so they could see any footprints if somebody tried to sneak into their country and [...]
Posted in Community, General, Personal Hygiene on May 14th, 2008
Why are we wearing sweaters in the summer? Why are we shivering when it is ninety degrees outside? Why do we find our fingers encumbered by gloves at the computer keyboard?
Forget the earth’s climate problems. Something has gone terribly wrong with the climate of our buildings. This cruel cabal who control the air-conditioning systems in [...]
Posted in Beauty, Community, Family, General, Personal Hygiene on May 5th, 2008
My mother is always complaining about how her house doesn’t look good enough. She claims that one of her friends actually refused to stay at her house because it did not meet the friend’s standards for interior design. Here is the formula my mother believes about her house: Children + Pets + Too Many [...]
Posted in Beauty, Community, General, Personal Hygiene, Politics, Spirituality on May 3rd, 2008
This advice can apply to men, but mostly it is meant for women – at least, for those who are capable of the feat. Not many women can grow substantial beards, or will admit to the ability, though we have seen some good ones in rural Italy.
Our main aim with these beards [...]