A Perfectionist Endeavor
Posted in Family, General, Personal Hygiene, Spirituality on Aug 20th, 2008
I have recently returned from the most PSYCHOTIC family vacation ever.
First the four of us (father, wife, baby, me) board a plane to Arizona to visit my little sister Chloe at her boarding school for wayward girls, although her therapist warns us she has regressed tremendously and it will not be fun or even [...]
One of many stupid arguments my boyfriend and I have had is about pancakes. On our recent holiday, I offered to make pancakes one morning. First he said that would be good. Then he said, “But the only food I consider a pancake is the size of a plate and the thinness of a [...]
Posted in Family, General, Spirituality on Jun 19th, 2008
My recent trip to Scotland was the best thing I have done all year. After months of anxiety, I thought I had tried every kind of stress relief: exercise, healthy diet, yoga, meditation, self-help books. Nothing was working. I felt overwhelmed by the impossibilities of the future, and at some point every week I felt [...]
Plastic may be wonderful for water bottles and new noses, but when we descended from a remote Scottish coastal path to a picturesque beach, only to find that the shore and hillsides were covered in plastic trash that had washed out of the ocean, the (plastic) recycling bin never looked so good.
My mother [...]
Posted in Community, Family, General, Spirituality on Jun 13th, 2008
I particularly love it when other people decide they are my long-lost kindergarten teacher. This happened yesterday when I was buying groceries at a small shop.
‘May I have a bag?’ I asked.
The checkout woman put on her most self-righteous tone as she waved the plastic bag in front of my face. ‘Will you promise [...]
Confident in my charismatic leadership, I set off last weekend in search of the largest box woods in Britain. I was inspired by a book called Hidden Trees of Britain: A Regional Guide to the Country’s Secret Treescapes by Archie Miles. It did not occur to me before we started that Archie Miles might with [...]
Posted in Community, Family, General, Politics on May 9th, 2008
That Austrian dungeon father has complained because people are saying he is a monster, rather than merely labeling his behavior as monstrous. A fine moral distinction, which we might develop further.
Rather than saying he ruined his daughter’s life, it might be more accurate to say that he ruined a certain number of days of her [...]
Posted in Beauty, Community, Family, General, Personal Hygiene on May 5th, 2008
My mother is always complaining about how her house doesn’t look good enough. She claims that one of her friends actually refused to stay at her house because it did not meet the friend’s standards for interior design. Here is the formula my mother believes about her house: Children + Pets + Too Many [...]
Posted in Community, Family, General, Spirituality on Apr 30th, 2008
This is for our sanity, if nothing else. If we don’t find a mate, by choice or bad luck, our well-meaning fellows will pity us and hound us until they have convinced us that we are not normal. It is easier to give in. There are several reasons our friends will persecute us:
1. For our [...]
Posted in Community, Family, General, Personal Hygiene on Apr 17th, 2008
We were not the only children in the world who failed to play with our pets as much as we should have. Enchanted by dreams of fur and fluff, we begged to be given a rabbit or puppy or chick, but the realities of caring for a pet every day were not quite as [...]