I have given this advice before, but apparently the world has not taken note, for in my latest play there is yet another line-learning refusenik. This man, Martin, is around fifty, rugged of look and coarse of manner. He smokes and eats a lot of candy to aid concentration. He likes to heave out [...]
Category Archive for 'Community'
#31 Lay Off the Cinnamon
Posted in Community, General, Personal Hygiene on May 19th, 2008
In my most recent play, an 18th-century comedy, one of the older actors played a rakish lord who takes snuff. He showed me his snuff, which came with a tobacco warning on the tin. It was a brown powder that looked like cinnamon but smelled disgusting.
“What does it do?” I asked.
“Personally, I don’t feel any [...]
#30 When We Are Perfect: A Warning
Posted in Community, General, Spirituality on May 16th, 2008
When we are perfect, everyone will hate us. Oh well! That is the cross we must bear.
Speaking of crosses, if the life of Jesus tells us anything, it should instruct us that being perfect will only get us killed.
Will we be happy, though? Please tell us that at least we will [...]
#29 Use Our Own Butter
Posted in Community, General, Personal Hygiene on May 15th, 2008
My housemate Jeremy used to steal my butter because he was too cheap and lazy to buy his own. Then someone told me about how the Israeli Defense Forces would rake the sand in the desert outside the security fence so they could see any footprints if somebody tried to sneak into their country and [...]
#28 Take It Easy on the Air Conditioning
Posted in Community, General, Personal Hygiene on May 14th, 2008
Why are we wearing sweaters in the summer? Why are we shivering when it is ninety degrees outside? Why do we find our fingers encumbered by gloves at the computer keyboard?
Forget the earth’s climate problems. Something has gone terribly wrong with the climate of our buildings. This cruel cabal who control the air-conditioning systems in [...]
This weekend we were eating at a casual outdoor restaurant when I recognized a young guy at a nearby table: he is a college student in town and also happens to be the grandson of a notorious billionaire. One of my friends knows him, but I have never been introduced to him. He was with [...]
#26 Take Responsibility for Our Feelings
Posted in Community, Family, General, Politics on May 9th, 2008
That Austrian dungeon father has complained because people are saying he is a monster, rather than merely labeling his behavior as monstrous. A fine moral distinction, which we might develop further.
Rather than saying he ruined his daughter’s life, it might be more accurate to say that he ruined a certain number of days of her [...]
#25 Share
Posted in Community, General, Spirituality on May 8th, 2008
On May morning I got up at five a.m. and went into town to welcome in the spring with singing and dancing. I had had enough of Morris dancers in other years, so this year I watched some green people who played wonderful folk music with instruments resembling giant bladders. They had green unwashed hair [...]
#23 Make More Money
Posted in Community, General, Spirituality on May 6th, 2008
If we wish to be respected by the rest of the world, our best bet is to make more money. If this proves difficult or impossible, there is always the alternative path: become a hermit/ barefoot monk/ Jesus.
If we wish to take the path of the impoverished yet spiritually enlightened, we may win [...]
#22 Have Perfect Houses
Posted in Beauty, Community, Family, General, Personal Hygiene on May 5th, 2008
My mother is always complaining about how her house doesn’t look good enough. She claims that one of her friends actually refused to stay at her house because it did not meet the friend’s standards for interior design. Here is the formula my mother believes about her house: Children + Pets + Too Many [...]