A Perfectionist Endeavor
Posted in Beauty, Community, Family, General, Personal Hygiene on May 5th, 2008
My mother is always complaining about how her house doesn’t look good enough. She claims that one of her friends actually refused to stay at her house because it did not meet the friend’s standards for interior design. Here is the formula my mother believes about her house: Children + Pets + Too Many [...]
Posted in Beauty, Community, General, Personal Hygiene, Politics, Spirituality on May 3rd, 2008
This advice can apply to men, but mostly it is meant for women – at least, for those who are capable of the feat. Not many women can grow substantial beards, or will admit to the ability, though we have seen some good ones in rural Italy.
Our main aim with these beards [...]
Posted in Beauty, Community, General, Personal Hygiene on Apr 28th, 2008
Although we may find a way to release ourselves from the obligation of sitting, as described above, it will still be necessary to stand and walk in an upright manner so as to distinguish ourselves from the apes and those who have no manners.
The lead actor in my play is a college student named [...]
Posted in Beauty, Community, General, Personal Hygiene on Apr 24th, 2008
This advice particularly applies to those of us who are acting in a play within the next hour.
At the opening performance of our play, I was searching backstage during the first half for William, the aforementioned wealthy reprobate, to give him a suggestion about one of our scenes together. I had seen [...]
Posted in Beauty, Community, General, Personal Hygiene, Spirituality on Apr 19th, 2008
Have you ever seen ballet dancers’ feet when they take off their pointe shoes? They’re not a pretty sight. I heard a company choreographer give notes to her dancers after a performance, including the instruction, “No more exploding toes!” Nearby in the dressing room lay a pointe shoe with a dark stain spread across [...]
Posted in Beauty, General, Personal Hygiene on Apr 16th, 2008
Even if we have big, ugly feet, it is good practice to cut off our ugly big toe to fit into the dainty glass slipper. If we fail to do this, we risk losing the prince (who will not consider marrying any but the most beautiful, servile girl with the smallest feet) and missing [...]
Posted in Beauty, Community, General, Spirituality on Apr 12th, 2008
When was the last time you saw a Stunningly Beautiful person? Probably not today, probably not yesterday, probably not last week. If you live in certain states, chances are you’ve never seen a Stunningly Beautiful person in your whole life. But judging from the behavior of millions of Americans, who follow the every move of [...]