#49 Agree On Our Terms
Jul 28th, 2008 by doing better
One of many stupid arguments my boyfriend and I have had is about pancakes. On our recent holiday, I offered to make pancakes one morning. First he said that would be good. Then he said, “But the only food I consider a pancake is the size of a plate and the thinness of a beer coaster.” (That is a good description of a pancake in unenlightened England.)
“That is what I consider a crepe, not a pancake,” I said, “and that’s not what I am going to make. I don’t care for crepes.”
“What’s wrong with crepes?” he said.
“They’re not very filling, and people put too much sugar on them, and they don’t have any taste. American pancakes are much heartier and you can put all kinds of things in them.”
“I don’t see why you have to say bad things about my kind of pancakes,” he said.
“You’re being ungracious,” I said.
“You attacked my pancakes.”
“I offered to make you pancakes,” I said, “and you then stipulated what kind of pancakes were acceptable to you. My making American pancakes does not threaten the existence of your kind of pancakes or prevent you from making them in the future.”
In the end we had to laugh, but I did not make pancakes that morning because I discovered we had no milk. We made them for dinner a few days later, and his pancakes turned out much better than mine because he had a better pan and he got to the milk first, and then we ran out of milk and I didn’t have enough, so my pancakes had a big emphasis on the cake aspect (they were way too thick).
I’m sure I’ll win him over one of these days, and I’ll hear him having this argument with another English person, laying down the law about what real pancakes are.