#19 Find a Mate
Apr 30th, 2008 by doing better
This is for our sanity, if nothing else. If we don’t find a mate, by choice or bad luck, our well-meaning fellows will pity us and hound us until they have convinced us that we are not normal. It is easier to give in. There are several reasons our friends will persecute us:
1. For our own happiness and well-being (the most commonly given reason).
2. For the propagation of the species (as if the rest of the planet would ever be lucky enough for human survival to become a problem).
3. To satisfy their unconscious dualistic impulse to divide everything into pairs.
4. So we will be as miserable as they are.
If we wish to resist them and live in peace, we may try barricading ourselves with diversions such as cats, gadgets, hobbies, etc., but to no avail. These helpful types are awfully persistent. If we truly wish to be single, we must:
1. become so horribly unattractive that no one would ever wish to offend us by bringing up the hopeless subject of dating;
2. enter a religious order which demands a vow of chastity; or
3. move to Antarctica.
Personally I find the last option most alluring. Not only would we avoid dating problems, we would escape social annoyance altogether. Forget killing two birds with one stone; we would make all birds of a societal feather wholly extinct.
Antarctica – for the moment, before the oil grubbers move in – is the only place on earth where we can escape the tyranny of the state. No passports required here! No taxes, identity cards, social security numbers, fingerprinting, or any of the other bureaucratic technologies they use to pin us down. No more family members will make us feel guilty about whatever we have done or not done. No more friends will lead us astray with their silly prejudices and peer pressures. No one will oppress us in Antarctica except the killer whales and the bloodthirsty seals when they are about to eat us.
Of course we shall not live long at the South Pole, and we are not likely to be very happy with the weather, but the important point is that we shall be free for a little while of everything we hated.